War of the Romantics
by takaondo
Summary: Ichigo wasn't really a guy that was into romance and Rukia was entirely new to the subject. Yet they were determined to show each other what it means to be romantic – by turning sweet old Valentine’s Day into a day of torture, awkwardness and funny faces.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own BLEACH.

**Author's Notes: **This is my Valentine's Contest entry for the folks at BA. The prompt used was _"2. Valentine's Day is a romantic day... but what does romance means for Ichigo and Rukia, on such a day?"_

This one-shot was actually inspired loosely on the latest AFTERMATH chapter. There are also probably some mistakes here or there due to the awkward way I wrote it. It is also majorly humor based, but I think it'll balance out in the end for those who wanted romance.

If you had smiled by the time the fiction finishes, then my intentions are full filled. If not, I guess I'll have to try harder next time! (Haha) Please enjoy!

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_**War of the Romantics**_

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Rukia sat quietly on Ichigo's bed, deeply concentrated on the magazine she was reading. The human world was always changing and she was determined to stay on top of things. Female figures and hearts littered the cover of it and it was clear that the magazine was of the gossip kind. Her brows narrowed slightly at the topic at hand. It was the day before Valentine's Day, and she was doing more research on the approaching holiday.

"Ichigo." Rukia said without looking up from her magazine. Ichigo glanced over from his desk where he was working diligently on homework. "You humans sure come up with weird holidays."

"Don't use 'you' like that." Ichigo replied, irritated at how she associated him. His scowl deepened as he turned back to his desk. "It's not like Valentine's Day is an important holiday."

"This magazine sure makes it sound important." Rukia said, raising an eyebrow curiously. "It says things like... 'A special day of romance'... it's very interesting."

"It's not interesting at all." Ichigo replied, harsher than he intended to. Rukia glared at him over her book with a small frown.

"It's obvious that a blockhead like you wouldn't know anything about romance." Rukia said indignantly. Ichigo's penciling instantly stopped, and he turned to her with a scowl.

"From the way you say it, you make it seem like you're an expert on the matter." Ichigo said as crossed his arms over his chest. Rukia smiled confidently as she turned her notebook towards him.

"I've done plenty of research on the subject." She said knowingly. Ichigo stared at her scribbled pictures of chocolates and couples with a deadpanned expression. "I'm perfectly prepared for tomorrow's awkward festivities."

"I see." Ichigo replied. His finger pointed at the multiple bunny-like figures. "But aren't those pictures more awkward?"

Her notebook whacked him on the face, and he recoiled from the impact. Rukia crossed her arms like he had before and stared at him defiantly as he rubbed his face with a scowl.

"If you know so much, why don't you show me what it means to be romantic tomorrow then, Ichigo?" Rukia said challengingly. Ichigo looked at her with slight surprise. She smirked at his expression. "Prove to me that you can be more romantic than me."

The first thought that passed Ichigo's mind was to refuse. Yet, Rukia's arrogant expression irritated him to no end. There was no way he was going to back down without repercussions.

"Fine." Ichigo said loudly. He smirked confidently. "I'll show you what it means to be romantic."

Rukia's eyes danced with amusement.

"Let's have Inoue and Ishida be our judges so we won't disagree on the outcome." Rukia said as she held out her hand. Ichigo stared at it for a moment before nodding his head in agreement.

"Deal." Ichigo said, quickly doing the same.

Their pinkies interlocked, securing the contract.

-

It was Valentine's Day.

Ichigo and Rukia were literally glowing as they stood next to each other at the mall. They both smiled brightly at one another. Ichigo, being the romantic man, had his arm around Rukia's shoulder. Rukia, being the romantic woman, stood there with a giggly and infatuated look on her face. To strangers, this scene would have been the perfect example of a romantic couple.

Ishida and Inoue – the recruited point takers for the day – observed them quietly, equipped with their clipboards for marking.

"Ah, Kuchiki-san and Kurosaki-kun seem to be adjusting very well." Inoue whispered in amazement to Ishida as she stared at them. Ishida pushed his glasses up, and his eye sparkled with a perceptive glow.

"There's more than meets the eye, Inoue-san." Ishida said deductively. "Take a closer look." He started to point out several things to her. "For instance, Kurosaki's hand is very stiff on Kuchiki-san's shoulder."

Inoue turned to Ichigo, whose fingers twitched awkwardly on Rukia's shoulder.

"And then there's Kuchiki-san, who's stepping on Kurosaki's foot."

Inoue turned to Rukia, who was literally trying to crush the bones in Ichigo's foot.

"So conclusively…"

"Nothing's really changed." Inoue finished with a small sweat drop. Ishida nodded affirmatively.

Both Ishida and Inoue turned back to them and they readied their clipboards.

"You guys can stop now for the moment." Ishida said expressionlessly. Within an instant, Ichigo and Rukia separated. Ichigo moved his injured foot slightly with a scowl as Rukia glanced at him with a gloating expression.

"Okay you both know the rules that were agreed upon." Ishida said professionally. Both Ichigo and Rukia turned to him to listen. "Upon each romantic flaw observed, a point is granted to the opposing player."

"Ishida-kun will be observing Kurosaki-kun, and I will be observing Kuchiki-san." Inoue added brightly. "Let's have a fair contest now, shall we?"

Ichigo had a small frown on his face but he still nodded in agreement. Rukia only smirked confidently before she nodded. They quickly glanced at one another. Their eyes met, and the determination could be seen reflected within them.

Both Inoue and Ishida raised a hand.

"Ready?" They both yelled simultaneously. "Start!!"

_-Current score: Rukia – 0, Ichigo – 0-_

Rukia took the initiative, and quickly commenced the cutesy look stance. Metaphorical sparkles came off her as she stood there with a giggle. Ichigo's attention instantly shifted to Rukia when he felt something utterly dangerous radiate from her. His fears were confirmed when he came face to face with her. His own expression only darkened as he stared at her.

"Shall we go… Ichi-kyun?" Rukia said in a cute tone.

Ichigo's eye twitched in its socket at the nickname.

"Ichi… kyun…" Ichigo repeated darkly.

"Point to Kuchiki-san." Ishida said as he made a mark down on his clipboard. Ichigo turned to him in surprise.

"I didn't do anything –"

"Your eye twitched." Ishida said simply. Ichigo glared at him and was ready to continue arguing, but Rukia pulled at his sleeve. Turning back to her, his face instantly changed when he saw her.

"Are you ready, Ichi-kyun?" Rukia asked adorably. Ichigo tried hard to remain natural, but some things just couldn't be controlled.

His eye involuntarily twitched again.

"Point to Kuchiki-san." Ishida said once more, making another mark.

Ichigo looked like he was about to explode with rage. Already things didn't look very good for him.

_-Current score: Rukia – 2, Ichigo – 0-_

Entering a nearby store, Ichigo absentmindedly looked around at the various items on the shelves and the walls. Rukia was a lot more energetic than he was, curiously examining those items with an expression of great interest. She glanced at Ichigo, and an idea popped into her mind. Picking up a small keychain, she held it out towards Ichigo.

"Buy me this, please!" She asked. Ichigo didn't even turn to her, but responded reflexively.

"Buy it with your own money." Ichigo said, but quickly covered his mouth when he realized his mistake. Ishida's glasses shimmered dangerously from the front of the store.

"Point to Kuchiki-san."

_-Current score: Rukia – 3, Ichigo – 0-_

Ichigo's face nearly deadpanned as Rukia approached him with a scarf, littered with small strawberries designs all over it. She smiled brightly as she held it out, her intentions clearly obvious to him. Ichigo only stared at it as if it was the most disturbing thing in the world. He backed up with a slight look of fear as Rukia stepped forward with it. It felt like he was being pushed into a corner.

"Isn't this the cutest thing?" Rukia asked, a little too cheerfully. Ichigo could see she was enjoying herself. "Isn't it?"

"…" Ichigo didn't know what to say, backing up a little more as she approached.

"Please put it on, Ichi-kyun! It'll match your hair!" She said, thrusting it into his hands. Ichigo stared at it with a dark expression.

"I'd rather hang myself with it..." Ichigo responded. Ishida instantly marked down on his clipboard.

"Point to Kuchiki-san."

_-Current score: Rukia – 4, Ichigo – 0-_

Ichigo was fuming silently as he walked alongside Rukia. She was preoccupied by the Valentine Day decorations that embroidered nearly everything, and stared at them with great curiosity as they passed along the stores. He glanced back, and saw that Ishida and Inoue were still observing them closely. Rukia had easily gained the upper hand at the beginning, but he wasn't about to give up.

He was now more determined than ever to win.

"Let's hold hands." Ichigo said bluntly, taking advantage of Rukia's inattentiveness. Rukia turned to him with slight surprise at his request. He only smiled warmly as he took her hand, to which Rukia slightly cringed. She had to fight the urge to rip her hand away from his.

Inoue didn't count it as an out, but Ichigo knew she was a lot more lenient than Ishida was – Ishida was still observing him like a hawk.

"If there is anything that you need…" Ichigo began romantically. He smirked as his mouth formed the next word. "Ru-chan."

Rukia's face darkened, but she held resolute against his attacks. Ichigo was pleased to see that she was slowly breaking.

"My heart is ever at your service." Ichigo finished dramatically, taking a leaf from his Shakespeare books. At that moment – like a champagne glass knocked off a table – her resolve literally shattered into a million fragments.

"Ehhh…!" Rukia's face contorted as she gasped with a sound of revulsion.

"Point to Kurosaki-kun." Inoue said from behind them. Rukia hastily glanced at her before glaring at Ichigo. He only smirked arrogantly at her, and she held the urge to hit him.

"I'm flattered, Ichi-kyun." Rukia finally replied with a forced smile. Ichigo didn't react that time, but merely continued to smile conceitedly.

Rukia was determined to wipe that smile off his face. Their eyes met briefly and that point, both of them knew…

It was war.

_-Current score: Rukia – 4, Ichigo – 1-_

Both of them were relentless afterwards. From holding hands to sweet talking, they remained determined to win. Sitting at the table for lunch, they both stared 'lovingly' at each other while Ishida and Inoue sat at another table to observe them.

Rukia glanced at the other table, noticing that Inoue was distracted with ordering, and subtly kicked Ichigo in the shin. Ichigo yelped in pain, and as expected, Ishida caught the angry glower he sent her.

"Point to Kuchiki-san." Ishida said from afar. Ichigo scowled darkly, hiding his face from Ishida as he glared at Rukia.

"That was dirty…!" Ichigo muttered angrily. Rukia only smiled, but Ichigo could undoubtedly see the malevolence behind it.

"Are you ready to order, Ichi-kyun?" Rukia asked, as if nothing happened. Ichigo forced control over himself before waving the waiter over silently. If she was going to play rough, he was going to have to play rough as well.

Ishida watched them order and sighed lightly as he placed his clipboard down onto the table. His fingers rubbed the bridge of his nose with slight frustration. Inoue turned to him curiously when she heard him sigh and quickly wiped her lips clean of food particles.

"Ishida-kun, are you okay?" Inoue asked concernedly. Ishida only nodded his head.

"I'm fine, Inoue-san." Ishida said. "I just find it awkward to be spending my Valentine's Day like this."

"I think this is pretty fun, even if it is on Valentine's Day." Inoue said brightly. Her eyes widened in excitement. "That reminds me! Have you eaten the chocolate I gave you?"

"Uh, yes…! They were… very good." Ishida replied, almost accidentally saying normal.

"It was just melted cooking chocolate, but I'm glad you liked it." Inoue said with a happy smile. Her eyes looked up thoughtfully as she continued. "I wish I could have given you and Kurosaki-kun some of my original recipe chocolate, but it exploded overnight in the fridge."

Ishida's face paled slightly as he stared at her. She only stared back blissfully ignorant of his unease.

"Exploded…?" Ishida repeated dumbly.

At the other table, Ichigo and Rukia placed their orders. Their lunch was placed down, including a shake that Rukia ordered. The waiter looked over the table and kindly turned to Ichigo when he noticed that he didn't order a drink.

"Ah, would you like some water, sir?" He asked politely. Ichigo shook his head, but he didn't turn to the waiter as he answered. Instead, his eyes were locked onto Rukia's

"No, please get me another straw." Ichigo said with an intimidating undertone. The waiter quickly left and returned with the item. Rukia's eyes widened slightly as Ichigo picked up the new straw in his hands. He smirked at her suspicious expression.

"Why don't we share your drink, Rukia?" He asked warmly, pointing his straw at her. Rukia's face started to darken at the thought. "I'm sure you won't mind."

"…" Rukia's eyes narrowed for a moment as she stared at the threatening straw. It seemed that he had chosen his weapon. Her hands reached into her bag, pulling out her weapon of choice.

"Oh, before we do that, why don't we use this?" She said sweetly, pulling out a stick of Pocky from its container. Ichigo's eyes lit up with alarm as she pointed it at him. "Let's eat this from separate ends!"

They stared at each other, pointing their weapons at one another menacingly. Ishida and Inoue stared at them with a sweat drop.

"It seems like this is…" Ishida started.

"…A standoff." Inoue finished.

_-Current score: Rukia – 10, Ichigo – 7-_

The day was starting to wear thin, and both Ichigo and Rukia were getting tired. Their battle at lunch ended up with a draw, as neither actually had the guts to do what they had said. Yet, the skirmishes of romance continued afterwards. Now with long faces and low morale, the two battle worn veterans stood next to each other in front of a large fountain, glaring at each other when their observers weren't watching.

Ishida and Inoue continued to monitor them, though they themselves looked pretty tired as well.

"Kurosaki-kun is catching up slightly." Inoue said as she looked over her marks. Ishida nodded slightly as he glanced over to compare.

"The day's almost over, but he still has a chance." Ishida said, pushing up his glasses as he turned back to the pair in front of him. They shined again. "We still can't relax yet."

"You're really serious about this…" Inoue replied, chuckling lightly with a small sweat drop.

Rukia overheard the two talking and narrowed her eyes in determination. She wasn't going to let Ichigo win; it was time to separate the head from the body in one fell swoop. It was time to use _that_.

"Ichy-kyun?" Rukia said as she gently pulled on his sleeve. Ichigo turned to her, nearly wincing at the extraordinarily bright smile on her face.

"What…?" He asked warily. Rukia leaned forward and Ichigo's eyes widened at her approach.

"Chu…!" Rukia made the sound as cute as possible.

"Eh…!" Ichigo choked as he backed up defensively. This was possibly the most dangerous situation he could have encountered.

This was impossible for him. This was _past_ impossible for him.

"Point to Kuchiki-san." Ishida said as he marked it down. Rukia crossed her arms with look of superiority as Ichigo glared at her.

"No! This is completely unfair!" Ichigo yelled angrily, turning to Ishida. Ishida was unfazed by his yelling. "Something like that is impossible for me!!"

Rukia's expression gradually changed as she stared at him with slight surprise.

"All you had to do was kiss her." Ishida said impassively.

"The other stuff I could take, but there's no way in hell I'll ever kiss Rukia!" Ichigo responded disdainfully. Rukia looked down, hiding her face with her bangs.

"You…" Rukia started. Ichigo turned to her, completely clueless at her tone.

"What –"

Rukia's hand slapped him across the cheek, and he recoiled painfully from the hit. He turned back angrily. However, Rukia was already running away from him. Ichigo's eyes widened slightly as an image of her expression flashed in his mind.

He didn't understand why she was so mad.

"Rukia…!" He yelled before he gave chase.

Inoue and Ishida only stood there silently as they watched him leave, not exactly knowing how to act in such a situation.

-

Rukia stopped running as soon as she reached a small balcony like area. The sky above her was slowly darkening as the sun slowly started to set near the horizon. She sighed lightly as put her hands over her eyes, wondering why exactly she had acted the way she did.

"Why did I do something like that?" Rukia asked herself, as if expecting an answer.

Footsteps thundered behind her, slowing down before they reached her. Rukia didn't need to see who it was, as she already knew the person's identity.

"Why did you run away like that?" Ichigo asked as he slowly walked up beside her. Rukia sighed slightly in frustration.

"I don't know." Rukia replied truthfully.

Ichigo paused for a moment before he answered.

"Maybe you…" Ichigo started.

Ichigo didn't finish his sentence, finding it slightly awkward to. Rukia caught his implication but remained quiet, neither denying nor admitting to it. They only stared out over the balcony, watching the sunset in silence.

"It went a bit too far, didn't it?" Rukia finally said, glancing at him. "Our little contest I mean."

"Mah… I guess." Ichigo replied without turning to her. "The entire thing was really weird and awkward… probably because…"

"We know each other too well to be fooled by the acting." Rukia answered. She smiled mischievously. "Romance doesn't suit you anyways, Ichigo."

"Shut up." Ichigo said, turning to her with a small frown. "I can't picture you being romantic either."

Rukia smirked at him, and his eyes lit up curiously at her expression. Her hands slowly reached inside her bag.

"Here." Rukia said as she pulled out a small red box. Ichigo stared at it as he slowly wrapped his hands around it. "These are chocolates for you. I made them while you were sleeping last night."

He stared at them cautiously before turning to Rukia.

"What are you up to?" Ichigo asked suspiciously. Rukia only grinned, her eyes glowing brightly with amusement.

"Being romantic." Rukia answered simply.

Ichigo was perplexed at the new sensation he felt. Though the gesture was small, the way Rukia presented herself made it so much more powerful. It took him a while to understand that emotion, and his eyes softened slightly because of it. It was a warming sensation within his heart.

If she could do something like that… then maybe he could try harder too.

Ichigo slipped the chocolate into his pocket and stepped forward. Gently placing his hands on Rukia's shoulders, he stared at her determinedly. Yet, as she stared back with a quizzical expression, he felt his confidence waver. His face began to warm up as he started feeling rather foolish. He could only think that maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all.

"Ichigo?" Rukia asked. "What are you doing?"

"A-also being romantic." Ichigo stuttered. Rukia stared at him with a patronizing expression and he scowled in embarrassment. "Don't give me that look…! I'm just going to…"

He couldn't even say it.

"You don't have to do this, Ichigo." Rukia said humorously. Her heart shivered with a warm tingling sensation as she stared at him. "You look terrified."

"Don't be so full of yourself." Ichigo said firmly. His hands tightened slightly over her shoulders.

He only stared at her expectant expression, and scowled lightly as he felt his face heat up again. He was hesitating; as much of a tough guy image he wanted to portray, he felt very much like running away that moment. Unfortunately, it was also clear from Rukia's expression that she knew that as well.

"You're blushing, Ichigo." Rukia said teasingly

"I am not!" Ichigo retorted heatedly.

"I'm still waiting." Rukia said impatiently.

"This takes time! Don't rush something like this!" Ichigo replied. Rukia had to hold back a laugh as she stared at his idiotic expression.

"Even in situations like these, you still manage to act like a fool…" Rukia said with a smirk. Ichigo responded with a small grunt of disdain.

"And you still talk too much…" Ichigo said with a smirk of his own.

_Though they didn't understand…_

Ichigo bent down slowly towards her.

_That tingling feeling in their hearts,_

Rukia tiptoed slightly to meet him.

_They both knew at that moment…_

The sunset behind them glowed warmly, showering the both of them in a pastel light of amber and violet. With their eyes closed and their heads tilted at the affectionate contact between them, they could only smile inwardly at the same thought.

'_This is what it means to be romantic'

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**Final Words:** Since it was Valentine's Day I thought I'd make it a little special. It's been about a year since I've written a direct kiss scene between these two!

**-Omake-**

Ishida and Inoue were still inside the mall, in the same place before Rukia had run away from Ichigo. The announcement had gone off that closing time was in five minutes.

"I don't think they're coming back, Ishida-kun." Inoue said with a small sweat drop. Ishida's face darkened as he looked down.

"How dare you waste my time with this..." Ishida cursed dramatically. He raised a hand into the air, yelling out charismatically as his glasses gleamed. "Kurosaki!! You will face... _Divine Judgment!!_"

From far away, Ichigo felt something small fall onto his head. Bending over to pick up the object that fell on him, his face dead panned.

"..." Ichigo stared at the small plushy effigy of himself. Rukia also stared at it with wonder.

"Where did that come from...?" She asked quietly. Ichigo slowly looked up into the empty sky.

"I don't know..."


End file.
